Giving stand up a go

So last night (Wednesday) I had a go at doing some stand up comedy. I was performing at the Frog and Bucket comedy club in Preston. They hold open mic contests under the title of Beat The Frog. I'd not previously visited the club, but I had visited the parent club in Manchester, where I'd also taken part in the same contest about 4 or 5 years ago.  I walked in an hour before the show started and shown a waiting area, which was another, albeit smaller performing area to the room I'd be performing in. I was given some drinks tokens and told I could redeem them at the bar in the main performance room. As I got to the bar, I looked around, and the first thing that occurred to me was how small and low to the ceiling was (I'm 6'4, so a low ceiling poses numerous potential problems) I got a bottle of water and went back to the waiting area.

The way the contest works is this: an MC  comedian does a small stint on stage. Then two previous winners do about 8 minutes each. Then there's a 15 minute break. Then 8 acts go on stage ( 4 acts then a break, then the other 4 acts) All acts have to try and survive for 5 minutes. If they do that, then they 'Beat The Frog' While the acts are on stage, 3 audience members are given a large card with a frog animation on it. If they don't like what they're ham eating they raise the card. If all 3 cards go up before the 5 minutes is up, the act is off accompanied by a recorded Ribbit sound and Loser by Beck. 

So that's the gist of things and away we go. The MC comedian comes on and starts doing a routine. Some things get a laugh and some things don't. He carries on unaffected by the non-laughs. The two previous winners come on and do their acts and then it's break time. Now then nerves are beginning to kick in the hardest they've been all night.

So the break ends and the first contest act is introduced onto the stage. She's very dry witted and as with the MC, some stuff works and some doesn't. She's frogged off at about 2 minutes 45 seconds. Next up is me. Nerves have been replaced by fear. I'd been carrying notes around on my routine all evening and I'd read and re-read them about 10 times since I got to the club. 

So I'm introduced onto the stage and overcome the first couple of obstacles. Firstly I got on the stage without falling flat on my face. Secondly the MC pronounced my surname correctly. It's L-I-V-I-C-K but I can't begin the different ways I've heard it pronounced. 

So I get to the mic, take it off the mic stand and look round at the audience. First  thought; holy crap, the stage lights are just a little bright. Actually not little. VERY bright. So bright I can barely make out the bar 20 feet away. I can see a few people at tables closer to the stage which is good. I begin my act by asking if everyone's having a good time. As a whole the audience replies yes. I inform them that I'll soon change that, which gets a laugh, and I'm ecstatic inside. So carrying on my routine, I talk about my pet peeves with drivers such as people who steer their car like they've watched the Karate Kid movies too many times. (Hand flat on the wheel, doing the 'wax on, wax off' motion when steering) This gets a few laughs. Now we're talking. Then I go onto talk about how the attitudes to how men and women like to try and improve relationships. This also gets some laughs, but alas not enough and although I can't see all the cards, soon enough I hear Loser blasting out the speakers and my time is done. A respectable 2 minutes 7 seconds. The nerves and fear have gone and I retake my seat and breathe a huge sigh of relief. Now I can enjoy the rest of the show. The next two acts go on and they both last the five minutes. Break time. 

Time seems to fly now I've done my stint and soon enough were underway again. The second set of acts start to come on. The first only  lasts 4 minutes 16. five minutes but the next two do. Now we're down to the final act. I'm currently last in the contest.  A guy from Hull who acted like a cross between Russell Brand and Gok Wan. He bursts onto stage full of vigour and starts his routine. He talks about how he thinks good looking women don't always make the most of what they've got. Then he picks out a woman sat near the stage and tells her that he'd like to create what he defined as a 'sperm genocide' on her face. To her credit, she took it well, as did her boyfriend who she was with. Alas, that was the final straw for his act and he was frogged off at 1 minute 20 seconds. Secretly I was pleased I hadn't finished last in the contest, bit more pleased by the fact I'd made some people laugh. That's all I'd set out to do, so mission accomplished. 

It's something that I'll definitely be looking to have a go at again. A whole lotta fun.

Sometimes it's good to do things that take you out of your comfort zone. When was the last time you did something like that?